If you knit or crochet you've probably got some whacky definitions of your own, but here's one to get your funny bone tickling:
Pattern: A set of written instructions that may or may not result in creating the object in the picture. Most patterns include a list of supplies, but this is for your amusement only. After all, Amazonian Rhesus yarn in smoky turquoise does not exist, and cannot be obtained. Patterns also have fun-to-do math problems, such as 1 dc in next 7 dc (34 dc made)…?!
Hop on over to Annie's Attic to read more Hooks & Humor. Can you add to the list?